I can sometimes be a bit indecisive; especially when it comes to food. It’s something I consciously try improve upon (but surely to consciously decide better is in itself a juxtapose?). I think this comes down to the fact that I am solely responsible for the enjoyment of the sandwich or item I am to choose. Layered bread with filler ultimately is as is, I am the one that gives it relevance by my interpretation of the appearance, smell, taste and other sensations it gives off.
Now for women… I’m less picky.
Hold your manifesting thoughts, let them fizzle away and hear me out.
I do not pre-judge anyone. We as human beings have such complicated lives, containing intertwining narratives, even read our own story can be so difficult to interpret, understanding what we have done and how we came to be in this present moment. Applied to strangers there is a beautiful word; “Sonder”, and that is to merely observe this phenomenon, unable to fathom the plethora of emotions a passer by may or may not be experiencing.
We should not pre-judge anyone. With potential partners it is an open palette, we can accept that we do not know what to expect, even if we already have expectations and that is what makes dating so exciting. It is a familiar looking and inviting sandwich, yet its contents, its flavour and sensations are completely unknown, no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that we do know.
This is exactly what is wrong with Tinder, and arguably its user base. We are browsing the same bread menu, praying that a brioche bun appears so we can use our special super like button. But Tinder does not limit the number of potential matches, we theoretically have an infinitive amount of swipes. The self inflicted faux pas, greed.
Matches accumulate, as do messages. The layout and nature of Tinder allows for users to collect these, a dating Pokemon Go? Why should an app specifically for dating, an area to meet the “special someone” or “the one”, encourage an ever growing palette of matches? Love at first sight? or love by “eeenie, meanie, miney mo?”
My final and conclusive reason to why app dating is flawed, the salutary swipe. I often ask myself when it comes to meeting a potential partner; “if I want to find someone like me, where would she be? out on the pull? indoors on the swipe?” Neither of those options.
The Tinder swipe is comparable to the Facebook/Twitter scroll; we don’t know the true objective of the scroll, it gives a level of pleasure, it is to some respect infinite, but most importantly of all… it does not promote meaningful life observations, the ultimate premise to dating.
Love at first sight, finding the courage to speak to someone who has that potential spark, that rushing feeling that you may miss this critical moment that can change your life forever. We all have our own fears, excitements and anxieties that naturally take hold when we are confronted by these situations… that is the moment, the moment that matters, the moment that makes you feel alive, the moment that can change everything.
You cannot swipe that moment, stop being greedy, put the phone down, observe life and see the beauty that exists in everybody.